Miscellany

God is just like my real boss….Horrible!

As I was looking at the weather report to make plans for my days off. I noticed it was to rain, yet again. This made me think that God is just like my boss at work.

I work with a bunch of nasty pathetic losers and they are the ones whose days off are always sunny, they find money, the store screws up in their favor and they get a good deal. This is how God is like my real life horrible boss.  Always taking care of the assholes.

If I could walk into Gods office I’m pretty sure it would go something like this:
“Hey Gus, I’m sorry it always rains on your day off but if it rains on Fred’s day off he’ll be in my office crying and giving me a hard time, but you’re cool. I know you can make the best of anything, so I have it rain on your days off. No hard feelings?”

Me being the push over that I am will be like “Yeah, I hate Fred too and wouldn’t want to deal with him either so, yeah we’re cool.”

But no, no it’s not cool! I hate Fred too, but guess what? Sometimes it rains and Fred should have to deal with it just like everyone else.

I’m thankful I’m in perfect health too. Or so I thought. Now that I know God is a horrible boss, is my good health a curse? Perhaps God’s plan is I’m in good health because Fred is a worthless animal as well as being a whiner.

Back in God’s office:
“Listen Gus, I can’t get Fred to do anything, so I’m going to need you to step up your game and work a little harder, OK? I mean, I gave you good health for a reason.” I can’t really argue. He did give me good health, I guess I should be thankful.  But why can’t Fred actually work? He’s on the payroll. He’s got decent health too. He  just has no integrity or morals.  That’s not considered a health problem, it’s a character flaw.  “He’s just a dick and I don’t want to have to deal with him”, God would reply just like my real boss.

I don’t like my coworkers anymore than the boss does, probably like God doesn’t like people anymore than I do. He should have thought of this before He took the position.

This is my thinking. I’ve been told that I’m not management material because I’m not “sensitive” which translates into “let the losers be and crack down on the ones that work”. My management style is quite the opposite. I believe if I’m paying you to be at work then you should be working. That’s not what they want and telling the losers that they’re losers and to do their jobs is not considered “sensitive”.

It seems God is too good to the losers while cracking down on the good guys and now the whole world of good guys is getting fed up. First the office and now the world is out of control because of horrible bosses and the good workers are pissed off and are now realizing that “Why work my ass off when you can be a loser and be rewarded?”.

Heaven must be Corporate Headquarters for Earth, with this big tall glass high rise in the sky. At Corporate Heaven, God doesn’t answer my prayers just like down here Corporate America won’t answer my emails.

 

“Hate your job? Join our support group.
It’s called EVERYBODY.
We meet at the bar. “
-Drew Carey

**Pic at top is not mine

2 Comments

  1. Hilarious, love it!!! and you’re not even talking about the real problems God has on his plate!!!

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