Miscellany

What do your actions say about you?

I was watching a documentary (I watch so many I can’t remember which one, sorry) when a guy said “we help because we want help”. That really got me thinking. A lot.

All these thoughts swirled through my brain about myself. I had questions for myself and life, even more than usual. “We help because we want help”. My God, what does it say about me?

Ever since I moved to New York I have always had this job that I assigned myself. The train I take home is on the last stop. When it’s late at night, I feel obligated to wake those people sleeping and notify them that it’s the last stop. I shake them and say “Hey, you wanna be another statistic?!”. One night it was this gang banger looking kid, covered in tattoos with his phone in his hands. I shook him awake and went on my way. As I was walking away, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around. It was the kid thanking me. He has been the only one that has ever thanked me to this day. Don’t judge people! Now I can’t help but think that all these years I’ve been doing this. Am I seeking help myself? What is it I want in return?

I’m that New Yorker that when tourists ask me a question I get all excited. There is a good chance I might even walk with you to where you’re going. I like meeting new people and hearing their stories, thoughts on life, the world and just what makes them unique. If I look at life as a reflection of myself I can say that these people I love to meet are myself. I wonder about them because I wonder about myself. I help someone in need because I too am seeking help. If I really got down to it and I’ll be honest with myself here. I really do wonder about myself. I wonder where I’m going, where I’ll end up, this, that. I think nonstop. I wouldn’t say I obsess, but I definitely wonder and question something or someone everyday. I’m not trying to figure it all out. I’m not on that mission.

If you believe in the philosophy, you get what you give, then you truly are a seeker. If you’re nasty to people, you enjoy conflict and you want it. You could retitle this article as “I’m rude because I want people to be rude to me”. If you are seeking, then you are giving. One of the best people I met in New York, I met by helping. I want and expect nothing more from my friend than to help him. What bigger help am I asking for myself? Maybe nothing.

I work with a guy that is always befriending the interns, feeding them and helping them out. People are quick to assume that he has an ulterior motive. Instead of assuming this, they could have just asked him if they are that nosey and he would have told them. He has a daughter thats in college. He helps the interns where we work because he hopes that his acts of kindness are returned for his daughter from another kind soul, where ever she may be in the world. Sending good vibes and giving back to humanity. He too helps because he wants help, for his daughter and family. Hell of a great guy. Proud to call him a friend.

What we do and why we do things say a lot about us as human beings. There are reasons for everything that we do. Everything. The next time you find yourself doing something. Ask yourself why? It will change what it is that you are doing. It will change your thinking in a big way. I promise you that.

I never thought of why I did what I did. It has never crossed my mind until I heard “we help because we want help”. What kind of help exactly could I be seeking? I don’t have the answers and I don’t believe any shrink I went to would either. I believe I will continue down this road of helping until the day I die without ever finding the answer. It’s possible that there is no answer. I’m OK with this. I know I will be seeking until the end. It’s part of this wonderful journey we call life and I’ve been loving every minute of it.

Have you asked yourself why you do what you do? What are you seeking through your actions?

 

“Change for the better requires effort. Change for the worst requires none.”

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