“If you like penis a lotta…then you’re probably gay”.
I used to work with this guy Jason who always was manipulating song lyrics and weak minded people. This dude was my partner in crime at work. Funniest dude, he would go right along with any joke of mine and take it to the next level. We were a hell of a team. People like that are hard to find. Sadly he left me and went off to pursue a career and a life. It’s cool I’m not bitter.
My Assistant Gilberto lives in a fantasy world where he lives on the 25th floor in a modern Manhattan building with floor to ceiling windows and entertains on the weekends. In real life we eat tacos on a cheap Ikea table with chairs that you fear eating one more taco will cause them to collapse. I do from time to time let him have his way and we go to that make believe apartment on the weekends to the 25th floor and have cocktails. But not out on the balcony because he’s afraid of heights. He had been going on and on for weeks about Pina Coladas so I thought, “Eh, may as well. A happy employee is a good employee.” Sadly, we don’t have any friends to invite over to entertain. So it was just us.
I have to be honest here and tell you, I’m not a big fan of Piña Coladas. It’s the coconut. I’m not a big coconut fan. I can do coconut cream pie in small doses with enough coffee. I don’t mind those magic bars that seem to be everywhere and in every coffee shop. A big cup full of coconut milk with rum. I’ve puked. Let’s be honest more. I’ve over done it on Piña Coladas and ever since I’ve been ruined.
I don’t like coconut milk. It’s an icky sweet thick goop of coconut. In this recipe I use coconut puree. I can’t promise you will be able to find it in your area but I think if you can it’s well worth it in place of the coconut milk. It is a bit pricier, OK it’s a lot pricier, but it can be placed in the freezer if you don’t use all of it in one shot. Which you won’t for this recipe.
You will notice I use Cachaça. It was given to me as a gift from my fabulous friend Daniel (Whom I refer to as Pepper). I love Cachaça and I love Brazil. How can you not?! You can use a dark rum that you prefer. I use dulce de leche as well. I love the rich intense caramely flavor the dulce de leche adds to the Piña Colada. I think dulce de leche is a match made in heaven with pineapple. It really gives the Piña Colada a rich intensity without being overly sweet. Which I think the coconut milk generally does. OK, I’ll back off coconut. I’m sorry coconut fans.
In the recipe, the 1 1/4oz of dulce de leche was pretty much a spoonful. You can gauge your own to your liking. Lastly, when I hollowed out my pineapple for the drink I got a little more than 2 cups. The rest I used as garnish or ate. You can get a pineapple corer cheap on amazon.
Since we actually had a warm day we took our Piña Colada to the park to sit in what was probably the last warm day. As winter pulls it’s grey sky over the city we’ll have to retreat to our 25th floor apartment for our next cocktail. Maybe we’ll get a fireplace this year?
Hope everyone had a blast this summer!!
“It’s OK to be angry. It’s never OK to be cruel.”
1cup fresh pineapple
1cup coconut puree
1 1/2 oz Rum
1 1/2oz Malibu Rum
1 1/4oz dulce de leche
-throw everything in your blender and blend until smooth.