Food

Lemon Ricotta Scones

Ever notice that ricotta cheese isn’t really anything special until something has ricotta in it, then you go, “Oooh”.  Ask someone if they want a slice of cheesecake. When they say “No”, tell them it’s ricotta cheesecake.  “Oooh”.

I’ve had the lemon ricotta scone recipe in my back pocket for a while now and have been dying to use it.  It’s more of a spring recipe and I think its time.  Because winter is killing me.

Winter lasts just long enough to the point when you’re about to jump in front of a bus because you can’t take it anymore.  You notice that across the street the front of the deli is full of tulips.  There is hope.  Spring is just right around the corner.  You smile through your tears and let out that insane little laugh at yourself for your crazy thinking of wanting to jump in front of a bus.

We all have that friend that counts down the days to Christmas.  Starting in January. I hate these people.  Those people that get all excited about nasty weather, filthy streets and slush and getting stuck in the house.  Fun!  I can’t wait myself.

When was the last time your friends shared pictures of their vacation from a house buried in snow, roads out of commission and a picture of them sitting in front of the TV with a cocktail and saying “Best vacation ever”?  Never.  That’s when. People go on vacation to get away from that shit.

When I moved to Florida people asked nonstop about Ohio and the winters must be so beautiful.  I broke it down like this.  Winter is not a Budweiser commercial. There’s no sleighs going through town, lights everywhere, people singing and drinking hot cocoa as they gaze through the beauty of winter through a window. You’re digging your car out to go to work, your clothes are a wet mess by the time you get to work, the roads are a mess, you’re shoveling your sidewalk and driveway which seems never ending.  It’s not fun.

You know who loves winter?  People that don’t have to go out in it.  My Mom loves winter because her ass is parked in a chair and her car is parked in a garage.  She’ll also piss and moan that summer is too hot.  Well, you had no problem sitting your ass in the house all winter but now it’s too hot and you’re stuck in a house.

People are just never happy.  I’m one of them.  But you know what makes me happy?  Lemon Ricotta Scones.

I call them scones.  If the English can call cookies biscuits.  Then I can call these scones.  Fair is fair.  We’re not here to argue.  We’re here to eat, laugh, talk shit, share stories and share recipes.  If you’re one of those that loves to be negative, create problems and just be a plain pain in the ass. There are plenty other sites for you to go.

It’s rare that I make a good recipe but these scones.  Damn!  Minimal ingredients, no machinery, no eggs even and they’re like eating a cloud of lemon ricotta goodness.  Did you say ricotta?  Oooh.

If you don’t love these, check your pulse.

These are so simple, you could crank them out for breakfast in minutes.  A good cup of coffee, a slather of Strawberry Rhubarb Jam or Lemon Yogurt Curd and mmm…. I need a second.

OK, I’m back.  There is so much I want, can and will do with these scones.  Hello summer Strawberry Shortcake.  You’ll see it this summer but with a cool twist.  So keep checking this summer.  It will blow your mind.  That’s a stretch but you will be like, “Hmm, that sounds fucked up but I’d try it”.

We’ve talked enough.  Get cracking in the kitchen and make these.  I promise you won’t be disappointed.

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Lemon Ricotta Scones

425g        ricotta cheese
425g        heavy cream
500g        flour
200g        sugar
10g          baking powder
10g          baking soda
5g            salt
zest from one lemon

-combine all ingredients in one big bowl.
-using your hand or large spoon, mix together until a nice smooth dough forms.
-using an ice cream scoop, scoop your scones onto a parchment lined baking sheet.
-sprinkle the tops with sugar and bake away.

Bake at 350 for about 20-30 minutes.  They should have a nice golden color and spring back when pushed on.

Makes roughly 20 scones

Other Recipes You’re Sure to Love 

Ricotta Date Scones

Vanilla Dreamcake, I mean Cheesecake

Brown Butter and White Chocolate Scones 

2 Comments

  1. Sherry Keeler says

    Those and a Diet Coke life would be good!

  2. Brandi Brock says

    I love the “check your pulse” – whew–that’s a teeshirt!

Comments are closed.