Hey, it’s time for another coping cocktail. At this point, it’s always time for a cocktail.
I’m settled into my new digs in Ohio and couldn’t be happier with the move.
I’ve been working on new recipes and blah blah blah. Had to buy a car since I don’t have a subway I can hop on.
Are car salesmen the worst or what?
There in itself is a reason to drink. Car companies and dealerships make so much money. Don’t ever think you got a great deal on a car. You didn’t.
Anyway, here is this months coping cocktail. It’s warm. It’s buttery. It’s cinnamony. It’s Christmasy. And most importantly, it’s alcoholy.
Warm cider with a luscious blend of whiskey, cinnamon and butter. What a treat.
A perfect cocktail to sit and look at the tree. All those presents. Because all the things you bought and spent money on for your loved ones throughout the year were just meaningless.
Family is just precious aren’t they?
I ask you, is this not the most beautiful time of year?
If it’s true about the second coming of Christ. We are in so much trouble.
It’s going to be like when Mom comes home from work and nothings done.
The dishes are piled in the sink, clothes everywhere, dog shit in the living room all the while you and your brothers spent the day fighting.
He is going to beat….our…. asses! Just like mom. You watch.
It’s too bad people nowadays will never know the joy of going to the telephone store to get a super cool novelty phone.
Ah, the shoe phone. Good times.
If Saturday Night Live is the future of humor. I’m investing my money in antidepressants.
Meaning, I’m saving my money for when I need antidepressants.
Ever notice how there are influencers for everything except the truth and justice?
Nah, those people aren’t influencers. Those people are labeled “crazy” or “radical”.
If Canada could pack up and move do you think they would?
Stupid question. I know.
You know times are bad when the government starts cutting benefits and funds to help its people in order to save their corporate sponsors.
When I see some of these kids names these days. I never know if I’m getting ready to meet a drag queen.
Are you an asshole because you’re a bus driver or a bus driver because you’re an asshole?
If we’re overly coddling and loving our kids these days instead of beating their asses. Why is there less love and respect for each other today?
Since I moved out of New York and I’m back on the road driving. I understand why they want self driving cars. You people are horrible.
Bring back drivers education in schools. Jesus Christ!
You know how many lives and anxiety medication it would save!?
When unemployment runs out will they raise the minimum on Medicaid and Food Stamps so it’s just out of reach for those that need it?
Do you get the feeling the media is just a 24 hour infomercial? Trying to sell us what we don’t want or need.
Hate, racism, politics, war, stories about rich people, “celebrities”.
But you just know there are assholes out there buying that shit up.
In fact, did you know some people think Facebook actually is a news source?
If you want a real news source, tune in every month for my coping cocktail. Ha!
I crack myself up. Booze makes me hilarious. Actually it makes me tired and catatonic.
Well there you have it. What are you coping with this holiday season?
Probably not a can of worms I want to open this year.
Eh fuck it! Spill it. Drink. Cry it out. Get it out. You’ll feel better. Let the family know how you really feel. They’ll appreciate you more. Trust me.
And what better cocktail to do that with than The Buttery Apple Cider.
This recipe makes me a drink. Might be enough to share depending on the extent of your mental anguish.
Buttery Whiskey Apple Cider Cocktail
-combine all in a sauce pan and bring to a nice heat. Enough to melt the butter. Just before simmering I would say. Don’t boil!
-using a hand blender emulsify the butter so it’s homogenous and smooth and buttery.
**Don’t waste your time just stirring it. The butter will not combine. If you don’t have a hand blender you can get a milk frother for $20 at Bed Bath & Beyond. And if you don’t have a coupon. Shame on you.